Tag Behaviour

Poor preferences

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Supply vs Demand



Today, My wife and I were watching a rerun of Top Gear. It was a 2018 episode being telecast in 2019. Yes, in India a lot of foreign shows are not that popular. We’ll get to that later. It was Season 25 Episode 6. They were test driving 3 SUV’s on a rugged course and each of the SUV had to tow a horse box or a horse caravan. In this trailer was a horse shaped piñata. After each SUV ran the course, they were checking the state of the piñata. After the second SUV, a new range rover, had finished its run, they opened the horse box and found that the piñatas’ head broke off. One of the host commented that it was a ‘Sicilian Stallion’. On hearing this, both my wife and me broke into a hysterical laughter. It was a very clever joke. Now if you do not understand why it is funny, you are the exact kind of person that inspired me to write this blog post.

After the laughter settled, I told my wife that we cannot share this joke with anyone we know. We again giggled for a while. Well not everyone, but almost everyone. Now, we were not insulting almost everyone of our friends. It was actually an ironic laughter on the poor preferences most our friends have. See, to get the joke, you should have read The God Father by Mario Puzo or should have watched Francis Coppola’s movie adaptation of the book. The joke is actually a reference to one of the most epic scenes in the history of cinema. 

A lot of good humor has references to pop culture. Not just humor, pop culture gives you insights into a lot of things. For example, there is a small but busy branch of culture studies known as “Buffy studies”; it’s even part of a Masters program at Brunel University, London. Topics include moral philosophy, gender constructs, textual analysis, and linguistic culture, all of which are explored using examples from “Buffy” and its spinoff “Angel.” The delighted show creator Joss Whedon said,

“If it’s successful or made a dent in culture, then it is worthy of study to find out why. Buffy, on the other hand is, I hope, not idiotic. We think very carefully about what we’re trying to say emotionally, politically, and even philosophically while we’re writing it… it really is, apart from being a pop-culture phenomenon, something that is deeply layered textually episode by episode.”

Now, traditionally TV and comics have been considered a low art. But in the 21st century, this is the art that most people are exposed to, thus it the most popular art. Any popular art form that becomes a part of culture and thus pop culture is very important. There are a multitude of reasons to study it. It’s not just entertainment, it also gives you a glimpse of culture of that period. 

Don’t get me wrong here. I’m no all pro western art and pop culture. If someone from India after an exam says, that question was more difficult than the question “Why kattappa killed bahubali”. It is pop culture and I respect that. One could argue that no one outside India would understand the reference to bahubali and kattappa. That’s true. But that’s because it is not popular there.  There are a lot of film makers and writers pouring good content in Indian screens too. But this good content  is too less and too infrequent. Let’s take Bahubali, the most expensive Indian movie ever made, broke all records in terms of money it made. If you have watched the 2 part saga, answer a couple of my questions. 
What was the plot? Did this plot if it existed require 329 minutes of running time and such a huge budget? 
There are a few very iconic scenes in the movie but did the wafer thin plot and need less emotional drama warrant an outlay of 430 crores? 

But when it comes to TV, Films or even cartoons in India, There is a generalization by the makers for each genre. 
1) Daily soaps – are for women, only melodrama sells
2) News is for men. Needs no fact checking only as much controversy as possible.
3) Cartoons are not entertainment, they need to be addictive, should be able to sell merchandise, content need not be filtered for children.




Media industry like all businesses caters to demand. So, if the demand for quality content increases, the supply will automatically start. In a way internet streaming services have already started a phase.It will take time to bring up the quality but until then we have alternatives.One of the side effects of British colonization of India was that most of the educated Indian’s know English. This is a blessing in a way because this gives us an opportunity to tap into books, TV, Cinema and comics in English. The internet now has erased all boundaries, you can find subtitles for most of the popular TV and Film content in any language. So, it’s not the old days of doordarshan where you had only one option, Now you have lots of options.

You just have reach out and grab it. 

Les Misérables

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The Perennially Pained

Les Misérables is one of the greatest work of literature in 19th century. I’m not going to argure, review or critique Victor Hugo here. Nor will I attempt to comment on the performance of Russel Crowe, High Jackman and Anne Hathaway in the Tom Hooper’s adaptation of this master piece. Though its worth mentioning that I was stunned by the theater skills of the actors once cast as a Gladiator, a Wolverine and a princess. Man they can act. Well lets keep it aside for another day.

What I wanted to convey with the title is my observation of majority of the human population in 21st century. Internet was invented in late 20th century. It made the world a small place, it brought people together. But another thing that was the by product of Internet has started pulling people apart. Internet brought information/misinformation to peoples finger tips. Social media then took both this information and misinformation to every tom dick and harry. 

The result of this is very evident. Not every one can separate music from noise. Not everyone can think and process information objectively. Not every one can accept that it is alright if some people have an alternate view on things. This results is anger and frustration. Which inevitably results in misery. 

Seeing someone post a picture of themselves on a nice holiday or with a brand new sports car will result you in liking, up-voting, commenting or further sharing the post. It depends on which social media platform you prefer, your relationship with that someone and most importantly your mood at that point of time.

Now, Can seeing someone doing things that you cannot do (what ever the reason for it may be) make you jealous? Can it make you regret your past decisions? Can it make you feel that life has dealt you a bad hand? Can it make you feel that your life is inferior? Well it can, you may not realize it, but it can mess up a lot of things in your head – sub consciously. 

You may not agree with it, that is OK. It is a very personal thing on how you feel about others success. So, lets make it less personal.

Suppose you are an animal lover and you see a post in your feed depicting animal cruelty. Would that piss you off? Would that make you feel like screaming on top of your lungs? 

Well, now reacting to anything and everything that you see or hear is just self inflicting misery. This is the primary reason that you see so much hatred and anger everywhere. That’s the only reason that has driven me to make my blog unavailable in search results. I don’t want to be the target of some random persons illogical hate.

This anger and hatred has always been there but it was localized. You would whine and complain about stuff to your barber, friends or family. Once you have vented out your frustration, you are done and you go back to your life. Most people also did not publicly express such feelings as they were afraid of repercussions. But Internet has now provided a perfect platform of anonymity and that combined with continuous flow of information from the websites (that are design to show the content related to or similar to the content you have preferred to read/watch) gives your mind no time to get distract itself from anything you dislike. This will result in adding fuel to fire.

It is human nature to look at information that you do not like with equal interest as the content that you like. Using this nature, lot of people are making money out of your misery.

Why a person does something or says something is a very complex thing to deduce. We are not Sigmund Freud s, so it would be next to impossible to psycho analyse someone and then react.  I can list out a 5 point formula on how to stay happy but that would be of zero help to anyone.

Instead it would be rather helpful to understand the reason for the hatred first. If you are exposed to some information or content that you disagree with or do not like, first try to understand why it happened. If you research for 5 minutes you will understand that the situation is a result of mistakes by numerous people over a very long period of time. There is very little you can do about it and no matter what you feel about it, there are a lot of things in the world that cannot be undone.


When ever I’m exposed to things that I do not like, I just ask myself a question – “Would it help?”. This is a line I heard in the movie Bridge of spies and I was amazed how useful it is to everyone. This question if answered honestly will 99.99% of the times result in the same answer – “NO”. So, you are getting all riled up for no reason apparently. There are a lot of things wrong with the world and there is hardly anything you can do about it. Accept it and focus an things that really matter. Be happy.

Crafty crooked corrupts

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With great power comes great opportunity 

Voltaire is credited to be the first one to quote “With great power comes great responsibility”. Many others like Churchill have used it in a slightly altered version. Even Uncle Ben (Peter Parker’s Uncle) used it. Unfortunately if you google the words, Spider-man takes the lime light over Voltaire. Voltaire was talking about politics, kings, rulers. Just like the google results, in real world, this philosophy has been in use only by fictional characters. 

You see this being used in another way by the self proclaimed 1st world countries. They use it as “Power falling into wrong hands”. This is what US said to the world when they destroyed Iraq in the name of chemical weapons falling into wrong hands. This is what US has been trying to do with Syria and Iran for several years now.

Side note: Talking of things falling into wrong hands. Its so ironic that in US even a high school kid, convicted felon or mentally unstable people can buy assault rifles. 

Coming back… Some interpret Voltaire as “The ones with power should protect the powerless”. This is a socialistic view. 

Another side note: the communist view of this would be either no one should have power or all should have equal power. You have to agree that this is  funny (if you are not both a hypocrite and a communist of-course) 

Now that I have mentioned Socialists and Communists, I should also mention capitalists. They wouldn’t agree with Monsieur Voltaire. They would say that it isn’t the fault of the powerful person that others are powerless.

Coming back to the topic, In my insignificant opinion what Voltaire meant to say is that – Those in power should use it responsibly. In other words, one should not misuse their position of privilege. This is again idealistic view. 

In real world this same quote is quite smartly adapted by bureaucrats. They made it “With great power comes great opportunity”. Irrespective of the Country, Colour and Creed, people in power have for decades, centuries and may be even beyond the documented history, powerful people have always found ingenious ways to abuse this power. If you extrapolate the same theory and add some general observation to it, you will find that every life form in the world, generally uses its position of privilege to complete advantage.

May this is what separates humans from super humans. For someone to be a super hero, one does’t need super human abilities. 
(On a side thought, why is that the powers of most super hero’s are related to general ability of animals? And more importantly why do we call them super humans and these super powers? Logically wouldn’t these super humans be less human, I mean part human, part animal?)
All that one needs to be a super hero is to be able to follow Voltaire’s quote and be responsible with their position. That restraint in my opinion is the biggest super power.

Imagi-Nation

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Mine is better than yours!


An acceptance that something exists or is true, especially one without proof. Well this is the dictionary definition of a ‘Belief’. 


Last month, I visited Kolkata. It was my first time there and I went with a couple of my friends/colleagues. 

We had just visited Rabindranath Tagore’s home and were on the way back to the hotel. Everything was fine till, one of the friend I was travelling with opened his twitter feed and read out a trolling tweet about the then National debate of ‘Standing during a national Anthem in Theatres’. I should have fake laughed and kept quiet. But me being me I did not, which resulted in a conversation (argument) in which he tried to explain why India was a great country and one ought to respect it, not standing during the rendition of Indian national anthem is ‘disrespecting’ the country. What he was walking was just an opinion, a feeling at best. There was no fact to support his conclusion. 

I like living India and I try my best to be a good citizen. That is it. I’m not patriotic. According to me patriotism is an outdated concept, not valid in the age of global citizenship. How can I be proud of or respect something just because of geographical coincidence? One can only be proud of a thing that they achieve. I’m an Indian because I was born in India and my parents were born here. Nothing to be proud of these facts. Patriotism on the other hand is just a bag of emotions and is a kind of an obsession, its the easy option one can take. Where as being a good citizen is much more difficult. I try to cause no or minimum inconvenience to my fellow human beings. I follow the rules of the land, pay taxes and do not commit any crime. This is my definition of a good citizen or more importantly good human being.
I like living in India because my brain and body have been conditioned to live here. The brain is conditioned to language and culture. The body is used to the climatic conditions. So, I find living here more convenient than anywhere else. For that matter, leaving my current city and moving to another place in India would itself be an extremely uncomfortable thing to do for me. Does that mean my country or my city is superior? Absolutely no. Imagining things is fine but asking others to do the same is unfair. I’m sure if I wrote this on any social media forum, I’d be trolled, insulted, threatened and any other verb that the ‘civilised’ human can think of.
Speaking of forcing opinion? If someone else does that he is a bully, if a organisation does it its radical, if a leader does it he is a dictator. But if you are being a dick, then…. well in this case you are patriotic. I may have crossed the line of decency here but the only ones who would have been offended by last few sentences or my ideas as whole. And the reason I was more aggressive in my wording was to show how it feels like to be insulted just for not agreeing on something. 
I believe this ‘Mine better than yours’ is a primal instinct, a way to lie to oneself that they are in a better position than others. 

Schizophrenia

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Then vs Now

Don’t try to relate the title and the heading, I’m not going to talk about the history of mental diseases. I’ll relate them later in the post…
The above image may look like something from the controversial animation movie inside out. But its also closely related to Schizophrenia. It’s a mental disorder that comes in many a form. One of the symptoms is that the patient hallucinates or in simple words..hears voices in his/her head. Its like… if the girl in the movie ‘Inside out’ starts hearing her emotions talk to each other. Why this preamble… ? Well.. before I narrate something, its only fair that I explain where I’m coming from…

I had a realisation / revelation this week. By revelation I don’t mean I also heard voices…. I mean that I pieced together something I never thought of before.. I had a colleague beside me.. and because I didn’t know how he would react..I put fwd this theory/realisation of mine as a quote by some stand up comedian… He liked the idea and agreed with me.. and then asked ‘Who said that?’… I minced my words a little and said I don’t remember.. 
It is a sensitive topic.. I mean now a days in India every thing is sensitive… So.. I’m not going to put fwd my idea like I did to him.. I’m going to give you an example and see if you can meet me half way through the idea…

I saw in a lot of movies.. English ones.. Kids have imaginary friends. Eg: The 2012 Billy Crystal comedy Parental Guidance. I like the movie a lot. Explains a lot about what’s wrong with the current generations parenting skills. Now.. back to the topic. In this movie, Billy’s grandson has a imaginary pet. A Kangaroo. His parents fearing that the kid will get mentally disturbed if they say anything, pretend that they see it too. The grand parents are initially shocked but play along because they fear backlash from their kids.. Now imagine an adult saying something like that..

What would be your initial reaction? Would you treat him like a nut case or would you believe him. I’m going to give you another movie example here.. Raman Raghav 2.0. Its a dark cynical thriller serial killer story. The killer in the movie.. speaks to Gods. Not just one god but all gods. He justifies killing people based on his interactions with god. He even calls himself.. God’s CCTV camera..
Man hearing God’s voice and killing people because god told him to.. Clearly a Phsycopath..
That Now. Not Then. Finally something related to the Heading of the post… Hold your horses.. I’m getting there.. The then I’m referring to is a couple of thousands of years ago.
Let’s say a man said to people.. he heard god’s instructions  for mankind and who ever doesn’t agree or obey these instructions are to be killed or stoned to death.. What did people do? They wrote them down.. when from place to place.. did as per instructions.. In fact they are doing it even now.. They call this religion.

Let me take a less violent example… Another guy.. in the same period(then) sat below a tree and told people that he realised that the current way of life is wrong… and redefined everything.. It became another religion. Its a prominent one too.

This even happens till this day.. Though the registration process for new religion is tedious and success rate is less,we still have Mormons and Scientologists.. In India several self proclaimed god men live life king size talking about the voices they hear..

This is what I wanted to say… If someone heard voices in their head… Now they are put in a psychiatric facility and back then…..

If you agree with me.. you are free to ponder over it.. But if you don’t then please think of me as a schizophrenic..

Reading material

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Where to write and where not to write?

Paper was invented for writing. Then with the invention of computers and the internet, writing got digitised. Not every body can write quality stuff. It takes even more brains to write or say a quote. Great people are often remembered for their brainy quotes. These are found in their rightful place. In books, articles and other stuff both in print and online.

But there is an interesting phenomenon with some human beings. They started to write stuff or buy stuff written on it and put them every where they don’t belong. But this same phenomenon provides me reading material in most unusual places.

The walls of Golkonda fort in Hyderabad or for that matter any construction with historical significance can give you a very good indication of the number of low IQ couples in the city. In fact their names are carved on the walls in the hope of their names replacing Romeo and Juliet when referring to great love stories. Ramya and Ashok as demonstrated below are deeply in love and want to show case their love to the historians of future and tourists of present. Its just sad that Anil Kapoor’s son choose Mirza Sahiban’s love story for his debut, instead of Ramya & Ashok.

Then come the public toilets. The male toilets in public areas are a small version of telephone directory. (I obviously cannot comment on female toilets coz I haven’t been in one) This telephone directory is a list of all sluts available in the area. Name and phone number followed by venereal services offered by her. I’m sure there are very few women who know this. But anyone who get vulgar messages or calls from unknown callers will now know the reason. Some macho man you rejected has inked your name and phone number in a shitty place(literally shitty place).

Clothing started as a basic necessity and then became an obsession for a lot of people. There are now dedicated brands that sell apparel with stuff written on it. 

People think that they are witty and funny to wear them. But you are actually just showing off someone else’s talent. If quotes had patents, a lot of people would have been sued under copy right law. I’d be one of them. In my collage days. I bought a tee that had ‘I’m what I am’ on it. It cost me around 1000 bucks. 1/3 rd of my monthly allowance. Later with the maturity that comes with age, I realised I was dumber than dumb & dumber to wear it. Even now I have a couple of tees with stuff written on it. But I don’t wear them out. They are my sleep wear and I don’t mind what’s written on my sleep wear as long as It fits my budget. Coming back to t-shirts with quotes on them, I don’t mind them, I just laugh at you inside just like I laugh at my old self. But girls wearing such t-shirts put me in awkward situations. Unfortunately my education and general reading habits result in me trying to read anything I see and if its on a girl’s tee, it puts me in a very awkward situation as they think I’m starting at something else. So a Small suggestion to girls, if you wish to wear something with stuff written on it, please make sure it’s on the back.
Then comes my favourite reading material. Vehicles. People get a great variety of stuff written on their vehicles. I’d actually need a separate post to aptly describe my feeling towards these writings. They give something to think about it traffic. I’ll try to keep it short and just continue in this post .
The names of on the car. Are they his/her children? Or siblings? or just a couple of names he likes? I he a sadist to give his children such awful names? What if somebody reads these names, follows him home, sees his child playing outside, approaches them, calls out their name and tells them that he is their dad’s friend and nabs them? A lot of if’s but its a possibility. You can get anyone’s attention by calling out their name. I’m sounding paranoid but so many vehicles with names written on them and so much of time in traffic can give rise to a lot of thoughts.
Some people also try to tell me who they generally vote for. Some times just hailing a political party and some times they even mention their caste with the photo of a politician who belongs to their community. Some people just write the name of their caste as if its a badge of honour. I feel like running them over with a war rig from that Mad Max movie. Now I sound like a psychopath but if I feel that these people do not deserve to live in a sane society. These people pride themselves in being born to a couple who belong to a particular caste( a result of poor social practices and a genetic accident). These would have made sense in olden days when Caste told a person’s profession. Like a doctor mentioning his profession on an Aeroplane just in case there is an emergency and someone needs them.
I try to maintain some distance to these vehicles. Its always better to stay away from mad people.
Some people tell me their religious preferences. Some through photographs of their gods, others trough writings from their sacred books. I have 6 words for these people. Keep thy religion to thy self. The rear windshield is for visibility, not to make it a holocaust memorial or the Berlin wall. Some automobile owners tell me that their parents love them, through their vehicles. What else does ‘Maa Baap Ki Dua’ behind a vehicle mean? 
Some people advertise the financial source of the purchase of the vehicle. I’m not talking about the ‘Financed by State Bank of India’ on a Cab. I’m talking about the Mom’s gifts and Dad’s gifts. You are a spoilt brat,  good that you know it but why tell me? Unless your sponsor is generous enough to buy me a vehicle too, why would I care?
Some people tell me their profession. Especially lawyers, judges, politicians and doctors. I wonder if there is an accident, I can stop one of the cars with lawyer symbol and one with doctor symbol on it and ask the former to take legal action and the latter to perform first aid. Then there is also a next level. If one person in a family is a cop, then his entire extended family have ‘Police’ written on their vehicle. What purpose does it serve? Its still a mystery to me.
Some people tell me that they are car enthusiasts. This is done by buying a sticker from Team-BHP – a popular gearhead website. But ironically I find each and everyone to be very bad at driving. Apparently, just like quotes on your clothing –  a sticker on your car doesn’t change what you actually are. 
The other type of car entusiast takes a different route. Have you ever seen a rally/race car?  If you haven’t, this is what it looks like..
All the stuff that is written on it is for advertising the sponsors or the company parts that are installed on it. But some people for no reason get these company names written on their normal.. any thing but sports cars. They should be sued for false advertising. Some people go extra length and put expensive car logos on their cheap cars. I never tried is, but may be putting an Audi logo on their Maruthi car does increase their engine output. Don’t believe me? I too did not believe my eyes when I first saw it.
Lastly as if it wasn’t enough to write in all these places. So people get stuff written on them. Its called a tattoo or getting inked if you want to be more funky about it. They write all kinds of things mentioned above. Their loved ones names, religious stuff, funny stuff. You name it and they have it. 
So, these are some unusual places where I find interesting reading material. Well its not that interesting. I use my imagination to make it interesting. If you write something on you or your clothing or your vehicle, I’m going to judge you. Judge your intellect, judge your IQ and judge your decision making skills. 

What’s in the name?

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What are you wearing today?


Ever see the red carpet event of the Oscars or any other award ceremony. The anchors ask all the damsels in uncomfortable attire the same same question. “What are you wearing today?”. They mention some famous designer and talk in some language I’m not familiar with. Apparently there are some nouns and adjectives only a fashion conscious person would know. I’m out of dept here or if you can say – ‘Fashion unconscious’ person.  Every year I wait to see if some celebrity would say ‘Duh! I’m wearing clothes’. But thus far it remains to be a dream of the unconscious mind.

Anyway, designers have their own brands and mostly named after them. They are not affordable to normal folks. For normal folks there is an entire lower range of respectable brands.  In India, clothes were not bought ready made, they used to buy cloth and get it made stitched. But a lot of Indians of current age have moved on from this. They moved away from custom made clothing to mass produced clothing. Its kind of a statement to wear these branded clothes. They are more expensive even if they are mass produced. Funny, Cars actually have an inverse logic in pricing. Rolls Royce is way way expensive than a Volkswagen. 
Where a I arriving at? I just wanted to put out some context for my thoughts.

Every time I see Alia Bhatt showing off her Caprese handbag or Varun Dhawan sprinting around in his skyBags back pack. I wonder if they would have the same appeal if they had some other logo. Let’s say
What do you think? Well VIP is an Indian luggage manufacturer based in Mumbai, it had a lot of good will in previous generations for good quality. I think every middle class family owned a VIP suitcase and may be even its still there. As good as it was. Back to my question, would Alia Bhatt with a clutch branded with VIP logo have the same appeal as the Caprese logo? Its the same purse, same quality, only a different badge. Thought so!!
Ironically both Caprese and SkyBags are brands of VIP. Why would VIP do that?

There are a lot of Indian brands that aren’t marketed like Indian brands. How would you like Madras Rubber Factory tyres on your car? Fancy a Da Milano hand bag? Like a washing machine from Indian Fine Blanks limited. There are tons of brands like this. Flying Machine, Van Heusen, Monte Carlo, HiDesign, Louis Philippe, Allen Solly, Peter England, Lakmé, Hawkins, Westside, Ching’s Secret, White Mischief, Raymond. The list goes on and on. 

Let’s come back to the topic of the post. What’s in the name? Apparently everything.
Why do these Indian companies make their brands sound like foreign? This is because of US. Not the United States, I mean you and me. 

Some kind of colonial hangover in us makes us believe that Videsi is better than Swadesi. Well, these brands are not per say cheating you, they never say ‘Made in Milan’ for Da Milano bags. That would be illegal. They just don’t say where they are made and count on us to assume they are Italian. Italy is famous for leather goods, Milan is in Italy, Da Milano sounds Italian. So the bag must be worth 12500. The similar bag I saw at street vendor for 250 is just a poor imitation. Well the last sentence is sort of correct but the ones before that may not be. 

Apart from the colonial hangover, we also suffer from another problem. Showing off. Showing off is a primal behaviour. All animals do it – when they are looking to attract a mate. But for humans, 365 days are mating season. Add to that a fact that we associate value to Brands. Thus, a Levis T-shirt with nothing but Levis printed on it can be valued at 999 when its actual worth is not even 99. Last year, I bought one such shirt and after a couple of washes, I wear it at home now. Because it just isn’t good enough to wear out. I bought 3 t-shirts from a brand called Gritstones. Never heard of it? I too heard it only when I found them online. They are actually in a great condition even after a lot of washes. You may say that’s just a one off things. I’m not writing this post because I feel Levis ripped me off. If you feel so, you missed the point I;m trying to make. I love cars. Let me give you a car analogy. If a brand new Mercedes or BMW is available at half price and you can afford it, would you buy it? What if I say there won’t be any branding on it? Nowhere on the car will be a logo or a text saying which company it belonged to. Does the offer sound equally good to you now? I doubt it.

There is nothing wrong with buying a BMW for driving pleasure or Levis jeans because you like them. But before you buy something, don’t just go by the name. Look at your options, compare quality and then make a wise choice. Remember Shakespeare – 

“What’s in a name? that which we call a rose. By any other name would smell as sweet.”

Mad men

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How they make you buy their shit!!


Mad men is a series about an advertising firm. When I saw it, I wondered about the aptness of the title. If you watch an ad break on Indian television, you will know that it was correct. They are really mad.

Earlier, product advertising was all about that the product offered. Now they have adopted the most creative, unique and convoluted ways any sane mind could imagine. This is why I think they are insane (in other words mad). 

Always playing a fair game

No wonder English is a language of white people. England is the home for whitest of white people. Fair means both being light complexion and treating people equally(Because that’s exactly what all white skinned races did). Then there is a small matter of phrases like black sheep. On a side note… English, like many other European languages is actually a Germanic language, named after a medieval German tribe called Angels. See, Hitler was just trying to reunite lost families. 

All the consumer goods manufacturing giants in India and some from abroad have felt very very bad for Indians. They cried their hearts out because it was not fair that god hadn’t made Indians fair. So, there flooded markets with creams that can make a crow look like a dove. Some take 7 weeks, some take a few more. But advertising firms have made sure that they make Indians believe these fairness creams can wipe the Melanin off their skins. According to these advertising firms, all Indians were born sinners(dark skinned) and their fairness creams are giving their lives for our sins. So, they need to believe in the creams and accept them. The sales show that this concept did not help just Christianity.Like toilets there are separate ones for men and women. Looking at their ads I started believing that it will be only a matter of time when all Indians will be so fair skinned that we will see tanning saloons opening. Indians can then do what all the other white fair skinned people did and colonise the world, with flags bearing fairness cream logos. A global expansion of this products can end racism by making everyone look like Caucasians. 

Solving Unemployment

What is the most important attribute needed to get any job? Attitude? Commitment? Hard work? Wrong! Wrong! and Wrong again!
You need to have the whitest shirt in the whole universe and this can be achieved by using the washing powder with a technology so advanced that aliens are planning to Invade the earth to steal the formula.

Beating themselves up for us

New beats the old. Correct? May be in some instances. But according to the advertising breaks on my television all hair and skin products are always new and improved. They evolve every quarter. I guess all the unsold bottles of that shampoo that promised to make your hair stronger than a steel cable(but you ended up half bald) sat down, lay some eggs and they hatched into new and advanced version of that shampoo. They keep bettering and beating their older version in their own game. What for? For us. Its just for us consumers. The scientists of the world are burning away their lives like a candle to give your face a powder coat that can last for an extra hour. So that your co-workers can still recognise when you need to put in an extra hour.

Match makers

In 2009, a hoax news was circulating all over India. A man sued Axe after not being able to attract a single girl after using the deodorant. If you watch Indian advertisements now, the concept is still the same. There is only one way to sell a deodorant to a guy. Tell him that a girls skirt will fall off as soon as she smells him in their deodorant. I do smell a lot of deodorants at work, but I’m having trouble finding any skirts on the floor. There must be someone from advertising firm, picking these up before I see them. If you are not looking for something serious, there are some that can help you with one night stands also. 
Then there are other products like tooth pastes, mouth fresheners, shoes, clothing, chocolates and most recently ice-creams. All these products are made to help you find your perfect match. 

Health is wealth

There is a saying in a lot of Indian languages that translates to ‘Health is wealth’. The advertising agencies read is as.. Your health is our wealth. Did you know there are germs every where. You need to wash your hands 100 times a day. Kids are more prone to these than adults. This must be a recent phenomenon. Because one of my favourite pass time as a kid was to play with a stick in mud. That never got me sick. Was I immune to all the germs or did all these germs evolve recently?

Also, there are other products to boost your health in a lot of other ways. There are pills that can help you out race a street dog. There are air purifiers that can covert hell to heaven. There are mosquito repellents where each machine is equipped with a laser beam to kill bugs.


The scary movie

Now that the above health care contingent has scared you enough to make you think twice before you touch, drink or eat anything. There is another contingent who makes scarier movies. The Insurance guys. Perhaps the only guys who pray equally (if not more) for your well-being apart from your family and friends. They show you the weird ways the grim reaper will come for you and consequences that it will have on your loved ones. Only money can turn their grief into happiness. So, you should give them your money. This is how you make people buy insurance.

Expert’s choice

Expert is the most knowledgeable person on a given topic. You have to trust their judgement. Ignore it an you peril. This is why it takes me 2 and a half hours to brush my teeth. Well I have to brush my teeth with all the tooth pastes that experts have recommended. Don’t I? There are so many products that claim to be recommended by experts that I started questioning the meaning of expert. I’m planning to write to oxford dictionary folks to change it to ‘Recommends anything when paid enough’

I expect to add more things to this post in days to come. All this is just the tip of the ice berg. There are numerous other Indian advertising gems. Some honourable mentions. 

There is jewellery to help a girl get married. Thumb’s up is only for Bollywood stunt men. Always take the chocolate that strangers offer you. Then you have to smear it all over your face and then lick it off your face. Women can achieve anything, but only during their periods. Every car is number 1, so if you want one, you have to buy them all.

Don’t even get me started on tele-marketers. Their products belong in noble prize nominations. They can make you grow tall even if your genetic makeup says otherwise. There are belts that can make you loose weight faster than a Formula 1 car ride. What the heck. They even have a cure for diabetes. 

Stuff

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Essentials things that you don’t need

Stuff is defined as the material of which anything is made. But we use it in a different context. We call all material things stuff. Every one has their own stuff and they love their stuff. 

This is not just a human tendency, this can be seen in all animals. Animals are possessive about only 3 things. Food, Mate and Offspring. They defend all three at all costs and do not care about anything else. Primitive humans also started the same. The cave men also only cared about these three things. Next came shelter. Unlike other animals, Humans evolved their brains and in this process, their bodies became delicate and prone to natural elements. So, they needed shelters. They built shelters and made clothing to be able to survive. These were the basic necessities. Food, Clothing and Shelter.

But over the course of mankind, each passing generation kept adding more and more stuff to their necessities list. More interestingly, overwhelming majority of this stuff came in last 200 years. That’s .005% of the time bipedals have walked the earth. This is in one way related to assigning value to stuff. A banana is less valuable than an apple. Ask a monkey which one is more valuable, it might have a personal preference, but values both the same. Assigning values came with invention of money. In barter system everything was equally important. You make/grow stuff, you exchange some of it with stuff you cannot or do not make/grow. I think money was invented because of people like me. I have good problem solving skills which got me the job of a programmer. A couple of thousand years ago, I’d be pretty useless. Would you give me a dozen apples for letting you read my post? Didn’t think so.
Its not all that bad to assign values but we keep that value assigned not just when we buy stuff but also after we bought it. This is because, once own something and you loose it or damage it, you want to be able to replace it. You want to be able to afford it again. This is why a rich person doesn’t mind crashing his sports car (as long as he doesn’t die of-course) but a middle class person would go ape-shit if there is a scratch on his.

 The present generations take this to a whole different level. So, I want to list a few things that we feel are most essential but actually do not need them.

Internet 

In this day and world its important to stay connected but you do not need to be online 24/7. You are not an worker in emergency services. There are a lot of things that can wait. There is no need to type in a LOL as soon as your acquaintance forwards you a joke. A Facebook ‘Like’ of your friends selfie with his first attempt to make breakfast can wait till you finish braking your fast. We often find our selves without time for important things in life. Imagine you do not have internet for a week, you can only access it to do your job. You are not allowed to even google non work related things Now tell me your daily schedule. How much spare time will you have everyday?

Gadgets

There are a shit load of gadgets flooding the market every day. There is no need to own them immediately. You can buy stuff when you need them. You saw that video of a couple capturing their vacation with a drone, cool. Just don’t go online looking for a deal on drones. 
                                        

Social media 

How important are social media platforms like? Facebook, twitter or Instagram. Having friends is important. Probably sharing with them is too. Lets say your Facebook or an Instagram post got 500 likes. How many of them are from people who really care about you? I bet everyone of you has no less than 100 friends on Facebook. Lets say, you broke your leg skiing and post a photo of the leg casting, how many would come to visit you? How many would care to call you to check on you? How many of them would you personally invite to your wedding? As I said, having friends is important. Having a lot of friends would be great. Pretending to have a lot of them is not.

Swag

How do you identify a person with swag? He would be the one wearing a shitty hat sideways(defeating the whole purpose of a hat) accompanied by chain large enough to secure luggage around the neck, a T-shirt with a cocky caption on it, half his ass falling out of his pants. Now do you really need Swag?


Idiot boxes

In one of the episodes of the sitcom friends, Joey makes a profound observation. 

That’s the sorry state we are in(including me). The idiot box has taken over our lives. In addition to television screen we have other screens we point our heads at. The phone screen or your tablet screen constantly grab your attention even when you have the television screen on. This means that people can sit next to each other and not interact. So, living rooms resemble hospital waiting rooms. If you start adding more screens, like a television in each bed room, we will start living like a dormitory, meeting only to have food. So, the least we can do is sit in a single room and keep the possibility of a conversation with your family members still open. 

Looking at the world from a lens

Gone are the days when you need a photography was for photographers. Cameras haven’t become cheap, the purchasing power of people has increased. So, we see DSLR cameras, GoPro’s and not to forget mobile cameras. 
-Having a DSLR is not a crime, but having to use Photoshop to completely alter a photograph you shot with a very expensive camera and then putting a water mark on it to convince people that you shot it(haven’t downloaded it) is a crime against cameras.
-GoPro is a great gadget, something that adventurous people can use to capture their passion. But I’ve seen people picking up so called adventurous habits just for the sake of it. Its like buying a car because you have place to park it. 
-Don’t even get me started on mobile cameras. It doesn’t hurt to have a camera on your mobile phone. You might even say, you don’t want to miss a wonderful moment. But the chances of you capturing a moment of a life time are less than the odds of you catching on fire or having a stroke. But I don’t see you buying a fire extinguisher and defibrillator. Then there are selfies. No better way to tell the world that you are Narsissitic than you selfies. Pouting your way around the social media only highlights your self-centeredness. 

Cosmetics

I’ve seen not just women but also men spending so much of their earnings on cosmetics. Cosmetics were made for models. Others do not need them. That’s a simple truth. Your creams and gels are promoted by makers just because they want your money. It must be just an measurably low confidence that drives people to use so many cosmetics. They are not happy with what they are. They want to look like what people expect them to be. 

Deodorant 

If the coal miners and oil drillers didn’t need it. You will never need it. This is the latest craze in India. The moment I get into elevator in office, there is an assault on my nose with an orgy of deodorants. People who spend the whole day in air conditioned environments do not need to bathe in perfumes unless they sweat like a pig. 

The meaning of life is trying to find place for your stuff – George Carlin.
George Carlin is my favourite philosopher. His profession was a stand-up comedian. But I consider him one of the greatest modern philosophers. If you know his philosophy and have read my other posts, you would have realised that He has influenced me a lot. Carlin had a gig on a topic called ‘Stuff’. Its funny and profound. Have a look at it.


I’m not a sage, I also need my stuff. I’m not immune to the urge to own stuff. It might sound hypocritical. But more than once in a while, I do make an effort to distinguish What I need and What I like.

Samvaad – Vivaad

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Sometimes words hurt more than actions

“Beliefs don’t change facts. Facts, if you’re reasonable should change your beliefs” – Rick Gervais

“If Ideas are strong they can stand criticism” – Salman Rushdie

The heading of the post is an age old Indian concept. I first heard it from my manager during a personality development training. Both Samvaad and Vivaad are words of Sanskrit origin.
Samvaad can be translated to words like dialogue, parley & communication. Vivaad is dispute or controversy. Both of these have a great relevance in the present age of social media, where everyone’s voice can be heard all over the world. There are debates all over the comments section of every news article, a youtube video, a Facebook post or a tweet. Though both Samvaad and Vivaad happen in every debate. Samvaad is the only necessary thing. Vivaad is equivalet of trolling someone on the internet. Samvaad is something only a wise and matured person can do. Where as Vivaad is an animalistic behaviour. In simple language its the difference between discussion and an argument.

I’ve borrowed some content from Wikipedia to give a little broader classification.

Vada, the honest debate
Vada, the good or honest debate, is constituted by the following characteristics:

  • Establishment (of the thesis) and refutation (of the counter-thesis) should be based upon adequate evidence or means for knowledge (pramana) as well as upon (proper) hypothetical or indirect reasoning (tarka).
  • The conclusion should not entail contradiction with any tenet or accepted doctrine (siddhanta).
  • Each side should use the well-known five steps of the demonstration of an argument explicitly.
  • They should clearly recognise a thesis to be defended and a counter thesis to be refuted.
Jalpa, the bad debate
Jalpa is defined in Nyayasutra as a debate where, among the stated characteristics of the first type of debate, only such characteristics as would seem appropriate would be applicable. In addition, the debater can use, for the establishment of his own position and for the refutation of the opponent’s thesis, such means as quibbling, illegitimate rejoinders and any kind of clincher. Three kinds of quibbling are listed, twenty-four kinds of illegitimate rejoinders and twenty-two kinds of clinchers.

Vitanda, the wrangling debate
The third debate mentioned in the Nyayasutra is called vitanda, which has sometimes been translated as wrangling. It is defined as a debate where no counter-thesis is established. In other words, the debater here tries to ensure victory simply by refuting the thesis put forward by the other side. It is sometimes claimed to be a type of bad debate, for the only goal is victory, as in the second type, and the use of such trickery as quibbling and illegitimate rejoinder is allowed. 

There is no Vada anymore there is only Jalpa or Vitanda. 
In ancient India, scholars regularly engaged in Vaada. This was a way to broaden the horizons, learn another perspective and come to a common conclusion on any given topic. The whole purpose of the exercise is to learn, not to Win. In today’s are, the trolls win a lot of battles but they all lose the war against ignorance. If this post is spotted by these cyber bullies, I’m sure I’ll have to see a lot of insults in the comments section. This is not limited to social media and other internet platforms. This happens in real life interactions, can be seen in News channels and also the reality shows.

I’m not saying you have to be politically correct. It is not possible to be politically correct if you are having a  passionate discussion. Be blunt, straightforward, in the face, aggressive.  
Be blunt is stating the truth, be straightforward with your ideas, Stare the topic in the fact, attack it. But don’t attack the person making the counter argument. One way to avoid this is not to take things personally. Do not get offended if you are being proved wrong, resisting it is fine but evading it will only leave you less informed that you would have been if you continued the discussion.

India, the topic of the decade has been Narendra Modi. Just the mention of his name can give rise to a never ending argument. This debate even lead some new words to be added to the urban dictionary of India. Modi is Feku, Rahul gandhi is Pappu, supporters of AAP are aaptards and supporters of Modi are Bhakts. Calling names was old school so the millennials started making up new ones. Some names like Internet Hindus which were coined as an insult are now worn as a badge of honour.  In not one of these debates, have I seen a person accept that his perception was wrong even when there was sufficient evidence presented to refute them. The whole process involves only defending of once own opinion. So what’s wrong with correcting one self? Wouldn’t it be a self improvement exercise? 

When I see a group of people debating online or in person. I’m always reminded of a wonderful show on MTV called Yo Mama. May be I’ve grown too old understand the present generations, may be this is the way of the world now. But for the greater good, I hope it is just a short-term phenomenon.